“Give Your Kids an Extra Hug”: A Father’s Grief and Grace After the Minneapolis School Shooting
On August 27, 2025, the city of Minneapolis was shaken by a tragedy that left two children dead and dozens injured. During a morning Mass at Annunciation Catholic School, a 23-year-old former student opened fire through the windows of the church, turning a place of worship and learning into a scene of horror. Among the victims was 8-year-old Fletcher Merkel, a boy remembered for his love of fishing, cooking, and sports. In the aftermath, his father, Jesse Merkel, stepped forward—not with anger, but with heartbreaking grace—to speak about his son, the pain of loss, and the importance of cherishing every moment with loved ones.
A Father’s First Words
Standing outside the school just one day after the shooting, Jesse Merkel addressed the public with a message that was both raw and deeply human. “Yesterday, a coward decided to take our 8-year-old son, Fletcher, away from us,” he said. His voice trembled, but his words were clear. He didn’t speak of vengeance or rage. Instead, he asked the world to remember Fletcher not for the violence that ended his life, but for the joy and love that defined it.
“Because of their actions, we will never be allowed to hold him, talk to him, play with him, and watch him grow into the wonderful young man he was on the path to becoming,” Merkel said. Behind him stood school principal Matthew DeBoer, offering silent support as the grieving father shared his pain with the world.
Remembering Fletcher
Fletcher Merkel was more than a victim—he was a vibrant child with passions and dreams. His father described him as someone who loved his family and friends, who found joy in fishing and cooking, and who played every sport he could. He was curious, energetic, and full of life. In remembering Fletcher, Jesse painted a picture of a boy who was deeply loved and who loved deeply in return.
The family released an undated photo of Fletcher, smiling brightly, a reminder of the innocence and warmth that had been stolen. “We love you, Fletcher. You will always be with us,” Jesse said, his voice breaking with emotion.
A Message to Other Parents
Perhaps the most poignant part of Jesse Merkel’s statement was his message to other parents: “Give your kids an extra hug and kiss today.” It was a plea born of unimaginable loss, a reminder that life is fragile and that love should never be taken for granted.
In moments of tragedy, people often search for meaning. Jesse’s words offered a kind of clarity—not in explaining the senseless act, but in urging others to hold their children close, to cherish the ordinary moments that make up a life. His grief became a call to action, not in protest, but in love.
The Broader Tragedy
Fletcher was one of two children killed in the shooting. Ten-year-old Harper Moyski also lost her life that day. Her parents described her as “bright, joyful, and deeply loved,” and mourned not only as parents but for Harper’s younger sister, who adored her big sister and now faces an unimaginable loss.
In total, 18 people were injured in the attack, including 15 children. Many remain hospitalized, though most are expected to survive. The shooter, identified as Robin Westman, reportedly idolized previous mass shooters and expressed hate toward numerous groups in a disturbing manifesto.
Minneapolis Police Chief Brian O’Hara called the attack “a senseless act of violence,” and praised the swift and heroic actions of those inside the church who helped prevent an even greater tragedy.
The Power of Empathy
Jesse Merkel’s statement was not just about his son—it was about community, healing, and empathy. “Moving forward, we ask not for your sympathy, but your empathy,” he said. “Please remember Fletcher for the person he was and not the act that ended his life”.
Empathy, he emphasized, is what the family and the Annunciation community need most. It’s a powerful distinction. Sympathy feels distant, passive. Empathy is active—it requires listening, understanding, and standing with those who suffer.
In choosing empathy over outrage, Jesse modeled a kind of strength that transcends grief. His words became a balm for a wounded community, a reminder that healing begins not with answers, but with compassion.
A Community Responds
In the days following the shooting, the Minneapolis community rallied around the victims’ families. Vigils were held, flowers and dolls were placed at memorials, and messages of support poured in from across the country. Religious leaders, educators, and neighbors came together to mourn, to pray, and to begin the long process of healing.
The tragedy also reignited national conversations about school safety, gun violence, and mental health. But amid the policy debates and media coverage, Jesse Merkel’s voice stood out—not as a political statement, but as a human one.
His message was simple: love your children, remember the victims, and choose empathy.
The Road Ahead
For the Merkel family, the road ahead will be long and painful. “While the hole in our hearts and lives will never be filled, I hope that in time, our family can find healing,” Jesse said. He also extended his prayers to Harper Moyski’s family and to the other victims, hoping they too could find strength and peace.
Healing from such a loss is never linear. It comes in waves—moments of clarity followed by moments of despair. But Jesse’s words suggest a path forward, one rooted in love, memory, and community.
Conclusion: A Father’s Grace
In the face of unspeakable tragedy, Jesse Merkel chose grace. He chose to honor his son’s life rather than dwell on the violence that ended it. He chose to speak not just for his family, but for every parent who has ever feared losing a child. And he chose to remind us all of what truly matters.
“Give your kids an extra hug and kiss today,” he said. It’s a simple request, but one that carries the weight of a father’s broken heart. In honoring that request, we honor Fletcher. We honor Harper. And we honor every child whose life was cut short by violence.
Their stories must not be forgotten. Their names must be remembered. And their families must be supported—not just in the days after tragedy, but in the years that follow.
Because healing takes time. And love, as Jesse Merkel reminded us, is the most powerful force we have
