We Adopted a 4-Year-Old Girl — Just a Month Later, My Wife Demanded, ‘We Should Give Her Back’
When Sarah and I decided to adopt a child, we envisioned a future filled with love and laughter. We had been unable to have children of our own and felt that adoption was our calling. After months of paperwork and anticipation, we welcomed Emma, a bright-eyed, curious 4-year-old girl, into our home.
Initially, things seemed perfect. Emma’s laughter filled our house, and her boundless energy brought joy to our lives. However, as the days turned into weeks, Sarah began to feel overwhelmed. Emma’s behavior, though typical for a child who had experienced instability, was challenging for Sarah to handle. Emma struggled with trust, often testing boundaries and acting out. Sarah, who had battled anxiety in the past, found herself spiraling into self-doubt and stress.
One evening, after a particularly difficult day, Sarah turned to me and said, “We should give her back. I can’t do this.”
Her words hit me like a thunderbolt. I understood that Sarah wasn’t being cruel; she was drowning in fear and self-doubt. We had underestimated the emotional toll that adoption could take, especially when helping a young child heal from trauma. I knew that we couldn’t give up on Emma, but I also couldn’t ignore my wife’s emotional well-being.
I reached out to our adoption counselor and a family therapist for guidance. They helped us understand Emma’s behavior and provided strategies to build trust and security. We also joined a support group for adoptive parents, where we found solace in hearing others’ experiences and advice.
With time, Sarah began to connect with Emma on a deeper level. She learned to manage her anxiety and embrace the small victories — a shared giggle, a tender hug, or a quiet moment reading together. Emma, in turn, started to feel safe and loved, and her behavior improved as her trust in us grew.
It wasn’t an easy journey, but the bond we forged became unbreakable. Today, Emma is a thriving, happy child who knows she is deeply loved. Sarah and I have grown stronger as a couple and as parents, learning that patience and perseverance are key in building a family.
Our experience taught us that adoption is not just about providing a home; it’s about healing, understanding, and unconditional love. By facing our fears and seeking support, we were able to give Emma the stable, loving family she deserved.
