If Your Partner Always Asks to Do It from Behind, It’s Because He…
When it comes to intimacy, every couple has their preferences. But if your partner always asks to do it from behind—never switching it up, never asking what you want—it’s natural to start wondering what’s behind the request. Is it just a favorite position, or is there something deeper going on?
Let’s get one thing straight: wanting to do it from behind (aka doggy style) isn’t a red flag on its own. It’s one of the most common positions for a reason—deeper connection (physically, at least), new angles, different sensations. For many people, it’s intense and exciting. But if that’s the only thing he ever wants, and he never tries to connect with you face-to-face or prioritize your comfort and pleasure, it might be worth looking a little closer.
So why might he always choose that position?
1. It’s about control.
Doggy style gives the person behind more dominance. If your partner tends to enjoy being in control—both in and out of the bedroom—this might be part of it. It can be a power play, and if it’s consensual and fun for both of you, there’s nothing wrong with that. But if it starts to feel like it’s always about his control and never about shared connection, that’s a different story.
2. He may struggle with emotional intimacy.
Face-to-face positions—like missionary or cowgirl—bring you eye to eye. There’s a vulnerability in that. Some people avoid those positions because they’re subconsciously uncomfortable with being emotionally seen. If he dodges eye contact or avoids intimate touch during sex, this might be a sign he’s keeping his emotional distance.
3. He’s focused on visual stimulation.
Let’s be real: for some men, this position offers what they’d call “the best view.” It’s about what they’re seeing—not necessarily what their partner is feeling. That’s fine in moderation, but if your experience is always taking a backseat to his fantasy, it could signal selfishness in the bedroom.
4. He might have picked it up from porn.
Doggy style is featured heavily in adult content, and a lot of men grow up seeing that as “normal.” If he hasn’t really explored what you like and is defaulting to what he’s seen on a screen, it might be time for a conversation about what real intimacy looks like.
5. Or, it really could just be his favorite.
Sometimes it’s not that deep. Maybe he genuinely enjoys it more than other positions and feels more connected to you that way—even if it doesn’t look like it on the surface. The key is communication: have you talked about what you like? Has he asked?
At the end of the day, the position doesn’t matter as much as how it makes you feel. If you’re feeling unseen, used, or disconnected, it’s time for an honest, judgment-free conversation. Sex should be mutual, passionate, and—above all—respectful. If he’s not willing to explore your needs and desires too, that speaks louder than any position ever could.
