We Paid for My Stepdaughter’s Honeymoon, but She Called Us ‘Cheap’ — So We Taught Her a Lesson in Respect
When my husband and I decided to pay for our stepdaughter, Emma’s, honeymoon, we did so out of love and generosity. Emma had recently married her longtime partner, Tom, and we wanted to contribute to their special start as a married couple. As they were both young, just beginning to build their lives together, we thought this would be the perfect gift to give them a memorable beginning to their marriage.
We had a conversation with Emma and Tom about their honeymoon plans. They told us that they were hoping for a trip to the Maldives, but with the expenses of their wedding, they weren’t sure how they could afford it. We immediately offered to cover the cost of their trip as a way to celebrate their union and to take some financial burden off their shoulders. Emma was overjoyed and thanked us profusely, while Tom seemed grateful but less expressive.
We went ahead with the arrangements, ensuring they had everything they needed for the trip — flights, accommodations, activities, and even a special excursion for the two of them to enjoy during their stay. We wanted everything to be perfect for them. It was our way of showing them that we cared and wanted to be a supportive part of their new life together.
However, when Emma returned from the honeymoon, we were blindsided by her reaction. She seemed distant at first, but it wasn’t until a family gathering that we heard her comments. Sitting at the dinner table, she said in front of everyone, “I can’t believe my parents are so cheap. I mean, they couldn’t even cover the full cost of the trip. I expected more for a honeymoon.”
The words stung. We had given them a gift worth thousands of dollars, and instead of gratitude, we were met with criticism. My husband, who had always been supportive of Emma, was visibly upset. I, too, felt hurt. It took me a moment to process what she had said. Was this how she viewed our generosity — as something to be taken for granted?
After the dinner, we spoke privately as a couple about how to handle the situation. We both agreed that this needed to be addressed. It wasn’t just about the money; it was about the lack of respect she had shown.
The next day, we sat Emma down and had an open conversation. We told her how disappointed we were by her comments. We explained that we had been more than generous in offering to pay for her honeymoon, and the fact that she had criticized us instead of showing appreciation was disrespectful. We also reminded her that respect and gratitude were essential in any relationship, whether with family or friends.
We made it clear that while we loved her and wanted to support her, we wouldn’t tolerate disrespect. We let her know that we had no intention of enabling entitlement. It was a tough conversation, but one that needed to be had.
To her credit, Emma apologized for her words and admitted that she had let her frustration get the best of her. She explained that she had felt a sense of entitlement after the wedding and hadn’t fully appreciated the sacrifice we made for her. Over time, she worked to show more gratitude, and the relationship began to heal. It wasn’t easy, but teaching her the importance of respect and appreciation ultimately brought us closer as a family.
